Is it ever OK to be selfish? As women in midlife, we often find it hard to take time for ourselves. For years, we’ve selflessly prioritised the needs of others above our own, whether that be our children, partners, parents or careers. But as we step into this new season of life, something is shifting. And if anyone can inspire us to fully embrace that change, it’s Michelle Obama.

In a recent episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty, the former First Lady shared a revelation: “For the first time… every choice that I’m making is completely mine." She sounded excited - energised by what’s to come. And I get it.

Her words made me reflect on my own life - and I think we can all relate. When you’ve spent so long making even the smallest decisions - meeting a friend for coffee, squeezing in a spin class, running a quick errand - around the needs of others, it can feel surprisingly jarring to find yourself with more time and mental clarity. That shift isn’t always seamless, but it is powerful.

For me, that season has started to shift – not completely, but meaningfully. My girls are growing up, finding their feet, and exploring their independence. And as they do, I’m gradually finding room to reconnect with myself. There’s a renewed sense of autonomy - a little more ease and flexibility. But I’m still proudly wearing many hats: mother, partner and female founder.

Like the former First Lady, I’m beginning to find ways to bring more me into the mix.

You could say Studio10 has grown alongside me - something I’ve nurtured and shaped with so much love. And now as I watch it evolve, I find myself in a new place. A phase not unlike the one Michelle Obama described when reflecting on “launching” her own daughters: “It feels good to know that the two girls you raised find solace at a kitchen table with one another. It’s like the one thing you want for them,” she told People magazine.

Now, she’s entering a whole new chapter - bestselling author, founder of a film and TV production company and co-host of her new podcast, IMO, with her brother, Craig Robinson. “I’m transitioning, you know,” she told On Purpose. “I’ve finished a really hard thing in my life with my family intact. I’m an empty nester… I believe this is a whole other phase in life for me.”

And what a phase it can be - a time not just for reflection, but for rediscovery. For putting yourself first. For being, unapologetically, selfish.

Let’s unpack that word. What if selfish didn’t mean inconsiderate or self-centred, but simply meant self-honouring?

Once I put the negative associations aside and reframed its meaning, I realise that selfishness can actually be a strength. It’s about asserting your own desires, safeguarding your time and energy, and reclaiming space for yourself, without guilt.

That kind of “selfishness” is liberating. It’s boundary-setting. It’s choosing rest over obligation, joy over guilt, clarity over chaos. Yes, it can be uncomfortable at first - especially when we’re so used to putting everyone else first But always saying yes when you mean no? That only leaves you depleted.

So here’s the invitation: start small. Take inventory. Where are you giving away your time and energy too freely? Where can you make room for what you want?

Because when you care for yourself with intention - when you show up for you - everyone around you feels the ripple. You become more present, more energised, more you.

So if that’s what being selfish means, then yes, I’m all for it. In fact, let’s stop calling it selfish. Let’s call it what it really is: coming home to yourself.

This next chapter? It’s yours.

Let it be bold. Let it be joyful. Let it be beautifully, wonderfully, self-full.